Useful Terms & Phrases
Processing is what happens inside your mind, during the period of time you take to digest information.
Often therapists will say phrases like,
“How do you feel now that you have ‘processed’ that?”
“Perhaps you need to process that.”
This is why most therapy sessions are booked one week apart. The content you cover in a one hour therapy session, typically takes a week to ‘process’.
As you mull over and over what was said, you begin to work out how that links to all of the other information and beliefs you hold.
After a few sessions you might find yourself saying things like,
“I need to go away and process that.”
“I haven’t fully processed that yet.”
Mirroring is when the comments and actions of others are a reflection of yourself.
Take a scenario when you have a disagreement with a friend but your neighbour was present.
Later that day (your friend has gone home) you are discussing the earlier disagreement with your neighbour.
You say “my friend got so angry earlier, she was so rude.”
And your neighbour replies “really, I thought she stayed rather controlled and calm.”
You immediately think your neighbour has taken your friend’s side. When in actual fact you are both speaking your own truths.
You were angry and rude on the inside so that is how you were experiencing your friend.
Your neighbour was controlled and calm so that is how she experienced your friend.
Effectively you get back what you put out because it’s all being run through your own internal filtering system.
One of a therapist’s role is to carry out as much deliberate mirroring as possible. In showing you yourself in a safe, empathic, non-judgemental and congruent way, you are able to look at yourself and decide what you want to work on and what you are happy with.